Hoping vs Wishing

We put our hope in the Lord.

He is our help and our shield.

In him our hearts rejoice,

for we trust in his holy name.

Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord,

for our hope is in you alone. 

~Psalm 33:20-22

The word hope is an easy word to throw around with a very empty meaning in it... 

• "I hope the weather gets better"
• "I hope you feel better tomorrow"
• "I hope I passed that test"
• "I hope you get through your problems"
• "I hope I get want I want for Christmas"
• "I hope I can go on that vacation"
• "I hope I get that job"

Yes... that last one is the one I'm frequently stating now. 

After reading the above verses tonight, I wondered to myself... when I make a statement of hope, what is my hope centered on? What is my hope weighted with? What is the strength to my hope? Obviously I "hope" it's a "hope in God." If it's not... What gives a basis for hoping then? 

I don't want to get all theological or anything, but... "hope" is so empty and useless without God. It just seems so shallow. Without hope through God, what really is the use in hoping. Then you're just... well... you're just wishing.

I'll be honest... I don't want to wish for that job... I make wish lists at Christmas for my kids, so they can buy me something that I really don't need. I want to HOPE for that job. And not JUST hope... Hope to God I get that job.

Spring Break 2013 - Day #3

After arranging the first container of the gardening year for a client, I met up with Laurie and the kids at Artful Designs for another family spring break activity before I went to work. I love the flexibility of my hours so I can enjoy some time during the day with the family :-)












































What a fun time being creative with my family!!!

That Could Be Me

I left an interview this morning excited, pumped, confident, ready to go!!! As I drove home I thought of nothing but the opportunity of working for this particular bank and the future I might have with them.

Then, as I got closer to home, I drove past a homeless person... at least he appeared to be homeless. You know the look, the clothes, the facial features, the physical condition, the eyes... You just know it when you see it.

As I sat at the stoplight I watched him, and my heart sank, my jaw dropped, my emotions began to erupt... That could be me.

"Really???" you might ask... "No way, that could never be you!"

But, guess what... That could be any of us.

The loss of a job, a difficult divorce, the death of a child, misuse of finances, one drink too many, one bet too large, a debilitating accident, overuse of a drug, repeated artistic denials, an unfaithful spouse, an abusive relationship, a poor business decision... you fill in the blank.

How many of the above situations have most of us experienced? Granted... many of us respond with resiliency. Some more quickly than others, some more privately, some with no noticeable scars.

But some... are pushed to their limit and over the edge. How easily could that be you?

That could be me.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

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What Am I Worth?

One of the most discouraging things about searching for a job for me after owning my own business, is stating what I think I'm "worth" in salary, only to find out the position pays less (sometimes much less) than the absolute minimum I can receive.

I have to keep telling myself that it's not MY worth they're stating, but the position. Although, sometimes it's easy to take the salary offer as … "Sorry, but you're only really worth $XX,XXX to us."

I know what I was making in banking… but that was ten years ago… I know what I was making in management at Borders… but that was ten years ago. I know I've owned my own business for the past ten years and I'm out of the "loop" a little… but… but… but…

Oh, pride… please don't get in the way.

Keeping my chin up… and my hopes up… and my eyes up.

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What I Miss From A REAL Job

It's been strange having to go through the application and interview process again. It's been several years since I've had to be interviewed for a job.

And what's really strange… I enjoy going through the interviews!!! Yes, I really do!!!

As I drove home this afternoon from an interview, I was thinking about Thanksgiving being in two days. And for some reason I remembered what it was like to be driving home from a "real" job the day before a holiday, whether it was Thanksgiving, Christmas, Independence Day, New Years Day…

I realized I have really missed that holiday drive home from work.

Yes… I want to experience that again. I've never been more sure about leaving my gardening business and returning to a "real" job than I am now.

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How To Enjoy Life

If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.

I Peter 3:10-11

Don't you just hate it when you open your Bible to receive an uplifting, positive, and encouraging word only instead to receive a punch in the gut or a slap across your face?

Yeah… that's what I felt this morning as I read the verses above.

Want to enjoy life? Want to be happy?
• Be positive
• Be honest
• Be good
• Be peaceful

Simple instruction for a better life.

A spiritual punch or slap is a good thing.

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Fall Beauty

Fall in general is not my favorite time of the year. But, how can I not be in awe of the beauty that still exits in the midst of everything dying while I work at my client's houses?

Below is just a quick glimpse of what I enjoyed seeing yesterday while I worked…

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Inner Confrontation

Those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.
James 3:18

Just read the verse above… I tweeted it and added "I want to be this type of gardener."

Felt cut through to my heart… When I read that verse this morning I pictured others that I perceive as true peacemakers and I felt so uncomfortable with how little I measure up.

Then I thought through other characteristics/actions I should be showing daily as a Christian… sympathy, care, love, giving, praying… I fall so far short when I see how others lead their lives.

•I'm not a peacemaker, but I need to be (I will be)
•I'm not sympathetic, but I need to be (I will be)
•I'm not caring, but I need to be (I will be)
•I'm not loving, but I need to be (I will be)
•I'm not giving, but I need to be (I will be)
•I'm not praying, but I need to be (I will be)

[My journal entry this morning]


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Sing... Sing A Song...

I didn't watch the debate and I don't care to discuss it, but I saw this picture and it just cracks me up!!! It looks like Romney and Obama are singing to each other. Agree???

Without ANY political bashing or personal attacks... What song are they singing or what musical are they performing in? Be creative with your thinking... This could be interesting :-)

iOS6 Frustrations

I generally don't complain about technology-related changes… operating systems, software, apps, social networking sites… when changes occur I roll with it and always have a positive attitude. My general philosophy with change has become:

•reset
•relearn
•reload
•return

And then iOS6 was released.

Wow… what frustrations I've been having!!!

There are four main issues I've been dealing with; please tell me I'm not the only one:

• More typos / keyboard errors - or did my thumbs get larger overnight?
• Apps are starting up very slow; FB, Twitter, IG, Evernote, and more
• Battery running down more quickly, have to charge at least once a day, sometimes twice.
• Typing delays and/or no response… keyboard will freeze for a fewy seconds while I'm typing, then start back up suddenly maybe entering what I typed while it froze, maybe not.

I'm using an iPhone 4 … my wife is using an iPhone 4S; yes, she is having similar problems, but has also had her phone go black and restart a few times for no reason at all over the past 2 weeks since she update to iOS6.

Now again, I'm usually quick to adapt with technology changes, but these aren't changes, these are technology-screwups by Apple.

Just in this post alone I've probably spent more time back spacing, deleting, repositioning the cursor to correct typos, etc. than in actual typing.

My wife wondered… Could it possibly be because of the larger screen size for iPhone 5? Hmmm sounds strange, but… was iOS6 for iphone created with the iPhone 5 in mind and adapted for the 4 & 4s? Hmmm… sensors on 4 & 4s not matching up accurately with iOS6?

Who knows, but… hopefully the bugs will get worked out soon. If not… maybe an Android phone or something similar isn't looking so bad after all.

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Redeemed (by Big Daddy Weave)

[I love this song… It's just a blessing to me and helpful with where I'm at in my life right now]

Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son...
Stop fighting a fight it's already been won"

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I'm redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"
I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be

Because I don't have to be the old man inside of me
'Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I've got a new name, a new life, I'm not the same
And a hope that will carry me home

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, 'cause I'm not who I used to be

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe every stain, yeah, I'm not who I used to be
Oh, God, I'm not who I used to be
Jesus, I'm not who I used to be
'Cause I am redeemed
Thank God, redeemed

Redeemed by Big Daddy Weave
Songwriters: Benji Cowart & Michael Weaver

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A 30-year Late Thank You

Dear Daddy…

Today Andrew and I created a 3-dimensional animal cell… I'm pretty sure I had more fun than he did, but he gave me a lot of thank yous, smiles, and high fives when we were done :-)

While helping him with the project, I couldn't help but think back to my difficulties in biology and botany with Mr Piper and the time you would spend with me learning everything for tests.

I know this is a little late (30-years, to be exact), but thank you for ALL of your help!!!







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Up North On My Mind

It's been two months since we've been home from Wisconsin and I still have it on my mind...

I can't remember having such a deep longing to return so quickly after coming home from our family vacation to Wisconsin. I was anxious to get up there, and I didn't want to leave...

It'll be a couple of years before we make it back up again... Hopefully I'll have the same excitement as I had this year.

The image below pretty much sums up what I picture in my mind when I think of our annual Sexton family vacation:

Yes... Up North is on my mind.

You're Blessed When...

{I don't think I've ever seen The Beatitudes written more beautifully than in The Message version of the Bible.}

You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.

You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.

You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care–full, ’ you find yourselves cared for.

You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.

You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.

~Matthew 5:3-10 (The Message)

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Strouthion and Strouthion

Stella is a cockatiel that we adopted last winter… I have to say we've become quite close over the past few months. and this morning was a perfect chance to sit on our front porch with her during my Saturday "porch time." (Her wings are clipped, so no chance of her flying away.)



When Laurie and I first moved into our house, we had five birds living with us…

• white-eyed conure
•2 cockatiels
•mourning dove (rescued several years earlier by Laurie's brother), and
•budgie

About this same time I began bird watching… I developed such a love for our feathered friends.

After our son Andrew was born, things in our house got a little crazy… we fostered an African gray for a little while until a friend adopted him, work became busier for Laurie and I, life got busier… our white-eyed conure died suddenly (which affected me more than I would admit at the time), our budgie died, Savannah was born, job change… soon we asked Laurie's brother if he could take our two cockatiels and mourning dove.

That was hard going from a house full of birds to no birds. But, we knew at that time in our lives, it was necessary. However, we still had one "little birdie" in our house… our son Andrew, his nickname at a very early age.

It was about that time that I started using the name "Strouthion" for different things online…

strouthion: a sparrow
Original Word: στρουθίον, ου, τό
Part of Speech: Noun, Neuter
Transliteration: strouthion
Phonetic Spelling: (stroo-thee'-on)
Short Definition: a small bird, sparrow
Definition: a small bird, sparrow.

We knew there would be a time when birds would come back into our lives. It started with a canary, Buttercup, when Andrew was in first grade.

And now, a few pets later, Stella joined our flock :-)

So for me it was a special time with Stella on our front porch this morning… Strouthion and strouthion.

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Reading Frenzy

Our 10-year old daughter, Savannah, has become quite the reader… it seems we almost always see her with a book in her hands.

When I was Savannah's age, I can't really remember ever having a joy for reading. So it's quite exciting to see it in BOTH of our kids :-)

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Video "Evangelist"

My son Andrew amazes me... his heart for those who do not know Jesus is SO big!!!

He's had it on his heart for awhile to create a video series that will introduce non-Christians to Jesus. The following is his first installment...

I pray he continues to burn with excitement in his desire to share Jesus with others!!! I feel so blessed and I'm so proud to call Andrew my son :-)

Mental Preparation

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you're aware that my wife Laurie and I are training for our first half marathon, the We Care Twin Cities Half Marathon taking place on Saturday, September 29.

A couple years ago I couldn't have imagined I would be preparing for a half marathon… or that I'd be running regularly. And even more so, I never could have imagined I would be enjoying running again… I haven't felt that way since high school, and even then I'm not sure I could have said I enjoyed it.

We are 57 days away from the half marathon… I'm a couple weeks behind where I should be in training due to my right achilles tendon becoming very swollen a few weeks ago. But luckily, two weeks off from running and gel heel wedges have completely healed my achilles problem :-) I'm feeling pretty good where I'm at right now, but wish I wouldn't have lost those couple of weeks.

Tomorrow I'm scheduled for an eight mile run… I can't remember when I've run eight miles, but probably not since the fall of 1983 sometime between August and October (my senior season in cross country at Monmouth High School… GO ZIPPERS!!!)

I've been in this weird "mental preparation" mood today… I keep thinking about the eight mile run tomorrow. But it's not been a bad, negative, or fearful way… More of a "getting prepared" way.

•What should I eat tonight that won't weigh me down in the morning
•How much sleep should I get
•When should I take my ibuprofen in the morning (usually takes 30-minutes to kick in)
•What time am I running
•Breakfast before? Or post run breakfast?
•Should I take a nutrition bar to make sure I'm replenishing
•How often should I drink from my water bottle to make sure it lasts 8 miles
•What's my desired pace
•Shirt or no shirt
•Are my favorite running shorts clean
•Can't forget a washcloth (my wife got me started on that one)
•Charge my phone to 100%
•Use IcyHot on my thigh right before starting
•Raisins… don't forget to eat raisins before running (my new little "gotta have it" food before I run)
•Map out mileage tonight in case iPhone GPS goes whacky again (it has a habit of adding in some some weird jagged patterns or extra loops)
•Usual running location or different one?
•Lots of stretching before; midway if I need to, also
•Shade running or full sun running? (half marathon will be almost all full sun, but Constitution Trail that Laurie and I run on is well shaded)
•Mile to mile plan … pace & time
•Form… not too upright, don't arch your back, lean forward a little, relax, watch arm swinging

Crazy, huh??? Before I went on long runs in high school I NEVER thought through anything… I just did it.
And quite honestly, I'm excited about it… a little nervous, since I haven't gone that far in almost 30 years, but… excited to know I'm doing it!!!

So, lunch is over… time to get back to work weeding and deadheading. And, I'm pretty sure I'll continue mentally preparing myself for my run tomorrow. :-)


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The Wall

Happiness

What brings you happiness?
I mean REAL happiness?

But remember, don't mistake "happiness" for "joy." Happiness is because of what happens … joy is in spite of what happens.

So … I'll ask again … what brings you happiness? Real happiness?

But, after seeing the difference between happiness and joy, does it really matter what brings happiness? It almost sounds materialistic, selfish, or greedy.

It's kind of like that age old question: "What do you want for Christmas?" i.e. "What can I give you to make you happy?"

You see, happiness depends on something physical, material, or an action. What can you give me, do for me, say to me, buy for me … to make me happy.

So … I'll ask again … what brings you happiness? Real happiness?

Or, after what you've just read, does happiness seem pretty insignificant now … temporary … short-lived … meaningless …

Sure, happiness can "fill the void" of joy … but, it's kind of like using mud to do tuck pointing in a foundation. It's not going to last … it's temporary … it's short-lived … it's insignificant … it's meaningless … it's worthless in the broader scope of time and life.

So … I'll ask again … what brings you happiness? Real happiness?


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Sunflower Smiles

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Catching Up

Seems like forever since I last posted on my blog… I could say I've just been way too busy, but in all honesty I just haven't made the time.

But, it's time I get back into a routine of regularly writing posts.

Below are pictures of the kids from our recent family vacation to Wisconsin…








It was the 48th year my family has gone to Wisconsin for vacation (it would have been the 50th, but we missed a couple years back in the 60's).

It was possibly the most perfect weather we've ever had while in Wisconsin; high 70's everyday and no rain except for our first night. A needed break from our high 90's and 100's in central Illinois.

Fishing was pretty worthless while we were there, but we made the most of it anyway. My son Andrew participated in the weekly fishing derby (for kids on the docks) and caught a record number of fish (bluegill and sunfish) in 20 minutes: 29!!!





Andrew used a "secret weapon" made by my dad… I guess it worked!

This how we spent most of time:


Yes… lots of relaxing. And when we weren't relaxing on the beach, we were relaxing in the cabin. But, we did take time to have some fun, too.


Laurie and I ran the 5K for Orphans in June… we were both very happy with our times and have seen a lot of improvement since we started running over a year ago. We are in the middle of training for the We Care Twin Cities Half Marathon taking place here in Bloomington/Normal on Sept 29… I had a little setback in training due to an achilles tendon that became aggravated at me for trying minimalist running shoes, but after a couple weeks off I'm back at it again.


We're both a little nervous about the half marathon, but excited, too. It's an awesome goal to reach for and we're looking forward to crossing the finish line and celebrating.

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Wascawy Warmf And Wabbits!!!

The Friday before Memorial Day I planted 300+ coral and salmon magellan zinnias at a client's house... These were plants that I had seeded in mid-April and was SO looking forward to be planting for them. My client LOVES coral and salmon and these zinnias are absolutely beautiful in those colors (as well as the yellow, orange, and red).

However... I should have known things weren't going to go well with them when I started to install the first group. The soil had become rock hard in the area that I was going to plant. I didn't have time to go get a tiller and work the soil, so I just started planting.

By the end of the 300+ zinnias I had a large bleeding blister on my right palm, another on my left thumb, and a third on my right index finger. It was 90 degrees, I was thirsty, I was tired, my knees hurt... They were done, I watered them in... I decided I should set the irrigation to come on every day for the next several since it was suppose to be in the 90's over Memorial Day and into the next week. I felt proud I got it done and thought ahead of the heat with extra watering.

Fast forward to Tuesday morning... I got out of my truck and walked over to the zinnias... burnt to a crisp. And the ground around the zinnias was bone dry. I walked over to the perennial beds... bone dry and new perennial plantings were drooping, others browning. I quickly walked to a series of four identical beds filled with annuals... also dry (but miraculously still looking ok).

I ran down to the irrigation controls... It was set correctly. I tried to turn it on manually... nothing happened. Then a little red light caught my eye... Beside it read "Rain Sensor." WHAT??? RAIN??? It hadn't rained a drop, but the crazy sensor had decided it had. This meant that the sensor did an override and told the irrigation system NOT to turn on.

I shut off the sensor and manually turned on the irrigation system... I drenched all of the beds, hoping I could save the dying the plants... especially the zinnias I worked so hard on just a few days before.

Well... most of the zinnias could not be saved, but I did see positive results within a couple of days of about 1/4th of the zinnias.

And then...



The rabbits hit.

I knew rabbits liked zinnias, but... really???

So, most of the remaining zinnias became snacks for the rabbits in the neighborhood.

What to do... What to do...

So, on Tuesday of this week I spent a few hours removing 300+ mostly dead and/or decapitated zinnias and installed 180 penta 'butterfly lavender shades' ... Not exactly what I was planning... and definitely not the color I was wanting to display along the road of this home. I was able to save about 15 of the zinnias and transplant them into the  perennial beds.

Also... before I planted the pentas, I worked the soil very well :-) Amazing how easily they were to plant compared to the zinnias :-)

All is well... Thank God for "Plan B."

Father And Son Time

Had an awesome three hours fishing with my son Andrew on Sunday...

We didn't catch a darn thing... but, that really didn't matter to me at all.

Pure White Peony

I love this peony in our front yard perennial bed... it is pure white and smells like Ivory Soap :-)

New Running Shoes

For the past few months my wife and I have been reading a lot about what is referred to as "minimalist" running shoes. We become interested when we started seeing information about Five Finger Shoes, but I had my concerns about them (for me) and began looking at other minimalist shoe options.

Then I recently ran across a magazine ad for the new Merrell Road Glove, and became immediately interested.

On Saturday I stopped at Often Running in Uptown Normal to look for knee bands for Laurie. While there I went ahead and asked about the Merrell shoes, talked in depth with the salesman, glanced at and talked about other possibilities (Saucony, Brooks, New Balance, Nike), tried the Road Gloves on, and walked out with my new running shoes...

I wore them for the rest of the afternoon/evening on Saturday and to church this morning/afternoon to start breaking them in. Then this afternoon I headed out on a run (with my lovely wife riding her bike... she had her run early this morning). I wasn't sure how far I was going to run... I was anxious but also excited about trying the new shoes because they are quite different than what I've used before.

In preparation for this move to a minimalist shoe I've worked really hard with my running form... less heel... shortening my stride and landing mid-foot and not on my heel. This isn't an easy thing to learn, especially at 46 and being a very bad "heel lander" when I'm running (and walking).

So my run... was excellent!!! I was amazed with how well I felt. I ended up running 4.39 miles in 40:52, which averages out to a 9:30 pace. I'll probably run in my Nike Free shoes next, then back to the new Merrell shoes... I don't want to rush my change to the new shoes and risk injury.

So a final few words about the new Merrell Road Gloves... Check them out!!! I'm hooked!!!

Stella's New Toy

Our cockatiel Stella found my necklace tonight while sitting on my shoulder... She was very intrigued by it as you can tell by the video below. The barking and growling is not from her, however... That was our jealous dog trying to get me to come play with him and put Stella back in her cage. :-)

Iris Show (continued)

As promised, a couple more irises have bloomed over the past two days...

Iris 'dazzling gold'

Iris 'harvest of memories'

Iris 'harvest of memories' has become my absolute favorite for it's scent... such a sweet sweet smell.

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Iris Show

If you REALLY know me, you know how much I LOVE irises... so, needless to say I'm in heaven seeing all of my irises, my client's irises, and any other irises I see blooming right now.

Here are my current irises that are blooming:

Iris 'pallida'

Iris 'wench'

Iris 'copatonic'

Iris 'immortality'

Iris 'blue staccato'

Iris 'blue suede shoes'

I'm looking forward to three more irises blooming within the next couple of days; my siberian and ensata irises will then follow.

My peonies are close to blooming, but there will probably be a few more days of waiting.

My tree peony had three beautiful blooms on it this year... It's still quite small at only three years of age, but I should see a lot of growth to it this year.

I start planting annuals in about 10 days... Because of our warmer spring it feels like I'm late planting annuals, and I'm sure it feels that way to my gardening clients, too. I'm very ready to start seeing that splash of annual color in beds and containers!!!

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